FOOD FOOD FOOD

I’ve this unbelievable urge to bake/cook something. I’m at home today working coz the man who birthed me has gone nuts again. I’m thinking portobello mushroom and chocolate lava cake coz they’re simple and I’ve been dying for baked portobello mushroom. Oh I NEED to go out and buy ingredients. BUY ingredients so I can cook, bake whatever. I’m hungry and dying, dying, dying to bake something. I was so in need of a sweet cupcake yesterday. I was missing the one I made last time actually and husband and I went hunting. Didn’t get anything though coz well, I’m cheap and they’re too expensive. I’m not paying for 4 bucks for a tiny cupcake. And oh, oh orange. I would like to have orange juice. Yum. Salmon. Yum.

I think I must have gone nuts. Oh and cheese.

Nevermind.

A WHOLE LIST

…of things to do.

1. Sand and paint the hand me down IKEA children’s table and chair set.
2. Furniture for the bean’s room.
3. Wall fan for the bean’s room.
4. Carpet for the bean’s room.
5. Clearing up the mess in the toy room.
6. Clearing up the mess in the store room.
7. Clearing up the mess in our room.
8. Storage for our wardrobe.
9. Fixing up sink in our common loo that’s falling over.
10. Fixing the wall plug in the kitchen and could we have more wall plugs please?
11. Covering that ugly wires from the light on the ceiling outside the bean’s room.
12. Changing the mat thingy outside our house.
13. Our kitchen sink tap might be worth a change. It’s flimsy.
14. Sand and stick wallpaper on the TV console.
15. Wallpaper the bean’s room?
16. Buy and put up shoe racks/cabinets – maybe outside our house.
17. Change the shower head in the common toilet that’s dripping water.
18. Change the master bedroom toilet tap.

and alot of other stuff I would like to do.

I WONDER

Sometimes I wonder how long can I take this. Maybe forever, maybe not for long.

Out of all the regrets in my life, I do not know where this is ranked. The union has produced something, someone so beautiful and precious to me. Yet the stress of being together. I really do not know how far in the future we have in front of us sometimes. When things do not go right and you have fights everyweek, sometimes a few times a week. How do you survive?

DAMN YOU

I usually would not like to name names but I think today I had it up to here and here. Enough. Seriously enough.

I do not understand why we would have to be villians at the end of the story when juz coz my husband spoke and reacted first. Everybody knows the fact except, her husband but maybe he knows it too but I don’t care. They got disgusted, felt the wrongness etc but at the end of the day, no. That disgusting person is the victim. All the others are juz being boliao. Great, thanks so this is how you think of us.

Also, juz coz things came from your wives’ mouths doesn’t mean it’s biased. Your immediately cancelling out your wives’ words is biased. And you know the facts.

Why? Why do we have to be at the end of the chopping board? I feel angry. Really angry. Helpless at how ridiculous this whole thing is. It doesn’t pay to be good. Nobody remembers or give us credit for the good we do. Only remember that my husband blew it and that’s it. All facts are erased and the goddamned bitch is now the oh so holy victim. If that fat ass bitch is a snow white I guess I understood why the 7 drawves turn gay.

Thank you very much for treating us this way. Thank you for ignoring my daughter as well. Thank you so much. If this is it so be it. This is not the first goddamned time I’m being pushed aside despite people knowing facts. For the greater good or whatsoever bloody good excuse they can come up with.

We do not need people like these in our lives and I truly wish I do not have to see you people again. Please juz do us a favour and stay clear of each other’s path. I’ve enough.

And you bitch, stop crying foul. I did nothing to you but thanks to you, we’re getting the flake.

MY OTHER WISH

Haha I juz realized I’ve another wish. On top of the balcony, I would like to have a gorgeous kitchen with all the wonderful applicances I can only dream of now. So the little bean and I can have cook outs and bake ins any time and eat them under the stars.

VICTIM WHO

Even when you’re wrong you’re still right. That’s how we all view ourselves to a certain extend. I mean most of the time if we know we’re so atrociously wrong we wouldn’t be doing it in the first place.

However there will be times when some people are just so damn full of themselves. When would you start to recognize a fault as a fault. A fault as your fault?

Being the person who strikes or rather snaps first doesn’t necces mean we’re wrong. We’ve juz had so enough of you that’s why it happens. Don’t tell me I should have told you how I felt blah blah coz that’s exactly what I was doing when you made this particular request.

It sickens me to always let these people play the victim. Damn it. Give us credit for holding the relationship together and letting things go instead.

LIL MONSTER YEN

Ok I’ve moved to tumblr. Oh not not my blog. I’ve not moved it for years (couldn’t remember when was it that I moved here from blogspot). But my little bean’s photos. Posting on fb might be easier and a fun way to share. But lately, I’ve been taking so many photos from her (I got a new hp with better camera) I feel that posting that much photos is juz a way of annoying all my fb friends for no reason and so tumblr it is.

Hop over here if you want a dose of her. A LARGE dose.

I’ll still post photos on fb here and there but the BULK (you can bet on the BULK) will be there.

AND THERE ARE DAYS

Where the world juz comes crashing down on you. No matter how you run, where you go. It’s you against the world. It’s you against the almighty universe and the beings on it. Then ultimately you realized.

No.

It’s juz you all these while. It’s juz you against yourself.

FRIENDS

Silly airheads, dumb fools, sickening actions driving me batty and up the wall. Oh I insulted you? Did you have to give me all those aborden moments?

Then a simple statement or two. That’s all it takes. To make each other smile.

Let’s be friends for life. Till we all grow old and die.

UNDERACHIEVERS UNITE

Let’s all go for a dip at the wrong end of the beach. Drink sea water, eat sand and lament on the faults our paths led us.
Let us sink into the bottom of the ocean, hold hands with the
currents that are making their ways up and hope we can ride on them and lead us out of here.